Shift Happens! Even if it's unexpected you can still remain in a place of peace and positivity. I've been through enough
shit shift to know it's so much easier when you just go with the flow. I shared this message live in my private group, the Spiritual Love Circle about embracing change.
The Importance of Staying Gracious
I wanted to come on today and talk to you about how we can stay in a state of gratitude. Still be gracious when things shift in our lives and a lot of times things happen outside of our control and sometimes that throws things off when we don't really know what to do, how to, how to move when that happens. So I will say that personally I've had some really big changes come up for me this month and the month has just started. So imagine that!
I am transitioning into full-time
entrepreneurship Spiritprenuership, so that's really exciting. Everything, I would like to say, happens for our highest good. So I wanted to share some insights that have been coming up for me as I am going through this process and things that I have learned from stuff just happening in the past also.
Goddess Affirmation Card
So every morning I have this routine that I do when I come into my office and when I wake up period. I pull a card from one of my card decks and this is the Womanifesting Goddess Affirmation Cards by Abiola Abrams and I love this card! This card is Mother Mary and the energy of the card represents miracles.
And it says that “Today I am reborn and willing to believe in miracles!” It's actually a really, really great card for exactly what I'm going through. So you can see the lady there and she just had a baby and when that happens, you know, something new is being created whenever something changes, right? And so that's what that image represents to me. And it can wear you out, it can beat you down, but you're still alive and you're still able to keep going and eventually you will have a little bundle of joy or a blessing that you can nurture.
What happens is we tend to see changes as something negative or as something that is stressful, like we see it just in a negative light versus being able to see it as something new opening up, being a little more positive, thinking about things when things change. So when I pulled this car this morning, I was like, this was just spot on, perfect.
Because that is the energy that I want to embrace, of being reborn and believing in miracles and knowing that something great is about to occur for me. So one of the things that you can do is to get support. That is so crucial to be able to have someone to turn to, to be like, oh, this just happened. Oh my God! Right! That initial conversation can matter so much because if you turn to the wrong person, they're just going to panic with you and they're going to feed your fears and starve your faith.
Know Who You Can Turn to When Shift Happens
That is usually where we go wrong. We turn to the wrong people and it just compounds the things that we're already facing and thinking and going through. So having a like-minded or positive, encouraging, supportive network is essential because when change happens, your initial thoughts are those of fear, of lack of the, “Oh my God, what am I going to do?” You feel like, you know, the rug has just been pulled out from under you. And if you go and talk to somebody who's going to be like, Dang girl, you just fell flat on your face. How you gonna get up, like what are you going to do? You know, your life is over. Oh my God, that's just gonna make it worse! And so now your mind has taken over and it's just like having a party like, oh, you messed up out here, ha ha, and now you're getting down on yourself and now you're in a state where you're like just fearful.
Once you get into that fearful energy, that's where you start to block your blessings because now you've lost your faith. So having someone that can support you, that can hold your hand and say, oh my gosh, you know what…
This is the start of something new.
Where are the positives in this?
What can you do right now?
How is this empowering you?
Be Supported With Essential Oils
A positive outlook is so crucial and that's one of the reasons why I love working with essential oils. I love working with the Tarot too because it just helps you! Essential oils are really great for emotional support. That's one of the first ways that I started using them as well as they're great for tons more other stuff. Being able to use essential oils to help clear and process negative emotions, there are essential oils that can help you to boost your mood and feel more cheerful to release those thoughts of lack and fear to help you strengthen your faith so they are useful in a number of ways.
So that's one of the things that I turn to in addition to knowing who I can call who is going to be there to support me. I don't wanna call my party friend because I'm not trying to like party, have shots, or drink it away. I'm not going to call my negative friend who was like, you know, I told you so or who's just going to sow negative seeds?
I want to call the friend who's going to be the light when I can't see my own light. That is monumental! You have to know who you can talk to about certain things. You have to know who you can turn to and who not to turn to, who to keep out of your situation. Um, and even like when it comes to like your relationships and your money and things like that, if you talk to the wrong people, they can have you all kinds of messed up.
One of the things that I tell people is when you are having problems in your relationship, you should not turn to people, especially your mom and your sisters, cousins too maybe even.
Why? Is because once you tell the people that love you, that somebody hurt you and you're just trying to release the stress, like, let me tell you what happened to me. You just want somebody to bear witness and to just express yourself, right? What happens is they are now categorizing your partner as triflin, as untrustworthy, like he hurt somebody that I care about, so you know what; We don't like him anymore.
Then when things get back good and you're like, oh, he brought me flowers and he did this. Everybody's like, oh, whatever. You need to leave him. So now there's negativity into your relationship. So be mindful of who you talk to and about what not everybody can give you support.
Some people are there just for fun. Some people are a little more critical. Some people you can turn to for support when shift happens, others you can't. And you have to figure out who in your life falls into what category. So that's the one way.
Prayer and Meditation During Life's Shifts
Another way is to pray and meditate, rely on your spirit, express what it is that you desire, express how you feel, and then sit and listen. Listen for guidance. Tune inwards for guidance before going outwards for guidance. And if you don't know how to listen to yourself or how to process emotions, that's why there are amazing people like coaches, therapists who can help you to process and who can help you decide and make decisions in your next step.
Dealing with Self-Doubt
So one of the things that happens and why coaches exists, is because we are taught not to trust ourselves. So now when you go to make a decision, you feel like you have to ask other people like, well, what do you think? Should I do this? Should I do that? And you kind of know what you want to do, but now other people are like, that's crazy, or you shouldn't do that.
So you start to doubt yourself and then you don't make that step. You don't make that decision. You don't make that transition and now you're unhappy in your life. Me, as a coach, my one of my jobs is to support you and to help you be confident in the decisions that you're making, whether it's in your love life or just your overall life because you already know what it is that you want to do, but sometimes you don't trust the information that you're giving yourself just because how we are taught in society to kind of give away our power.
Like, oh well we can't do that. We have to do what everybody else is doing. And so if you start to think outside of that, then you're like, oh well this can't be right because it goes against what everybody else says. So breaking out of that is one of the reasons why coaching exists. It's really to help you help yourself and just to help you do some of the work that is required to get you to a place where you are able to conference confidently, resting your own knowledge and your own power of what you know to be true for you.
Always Look to the Light
Another thing is expressing gratitude. If you feel like there is absolutely nothing that you can be thankful for, this thankful for, you're able to see this on Facebook. Be thankful for the fact that you have air in your body. You can breathe, be thankful for something every day. You should at least be thankful for waking up even if you think that day is going to be crap. You woke up and some people didn't, so start there.
Start to notice good things around you. Whether it's just a butterfly or hey, it didn't rain today, just little things start to notice that maybe somebody spoke to you and said, good morning and that kind of made you feel good. Notice the people that say good morning to you. It's like, wow, people, people see me. I am grateful that people see me and they notice me and they want to talk to me, start to be appreciative of the tiniest little things and you'll start to see that there are more and more and more things that you have to actually be grateful for. Just recognizing that there is always, always light at the end of the tunnel.
There's always a silver lining in the cloud. And another thing is like, we're told that like we have to climb mountains, right? Like we get these big problems and we gotta to climb the mountain. Sometimes we don't have to climb the mountain, right? Because that's a struggle. That is a struggle. Not everybody is skilled and in real practical life to climb a mountain. There are specific tools that are needed. There's probably certain like footwork and just all sorts of stuff that you need in order to safely climb a mountain. Like these are professional people. That is what they do. They are mountain climbers.
Being in The Valley When Shift Happens
There's value in valley, right? You can walk the valley, which is the low part and the mountains are up here. And you're down in the little valley and there might be an opening that'll get you to the other side of the mountain without you having to struggle and climate with an ax and a pitchfork and hoisting gear and all of that stuff.
Sometimes we have to learn to be where we are because there are lessons in that place. Iylana Vanzant, one of her books is the Value in the Valley. And when I read that book, I want to say read it sometime in my early twenties. That book helped me to realize that there is a purpose for the valley. There is value, when you feel like you're down and out, there is some sort of lesson in that place. And instead of trying to fight your way through it, trying to struggle and go uphill when you just stay there and you're present, and in the moment it gives you a chance to reflect into if you're, you know, aware to learn and to grow and you can take those lessons and say, OK, this is how I can maneuver differently.
And once you start to see that value, and once you start to learn that lesson, that's probably when you'll get to that clearing and it'll open up. And next thing you know, you're on the other side of the mountain without adding additional struggle to the process. So that's what I mean by going with the flow when things shift in your life.
Embracing the Lesson in My Own Vallies
Everything is always for your highest good, even if you can't see it. And I had to learn that the hard way being in an abusive relationship, dealing with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and being in a place where I was told like, oh, you're always going to be depressed and you're going to have to take medication. And I was like, uh, no, that's, that's not the future that I want for myself and I can confidently say today that I am not depressed, I am very much happy. I turned all of that mess that I went through into my mission to serve others because we don't have to settle.
We don't have to settle in love. We don't have to settle in life. We don't have to live someone else's dream. We can live our own dream. We can have the relationship that we desire. It's a matter of reclaiming your power. Those are some of the things that I help women with as we're even working on relationship stuff. Because a lot of that is you. I'm really stepping back into your power and realizing that you do have control. That you do have say so; that you don't have to hold on to your hurt. I have a lot of tools to help you do that and to help you kind of release some of the things that you might be feeling and dealing with.
When shift happens, you need to be very cautious and aware of who you are turning to and the information that you're sharing and I am waiting until I am totally secure in my next steps moving forward, but I'm super excited and you'll definitely be seeing a lot more of me. I did want to mention there are still spots available in the Love Rehab Six Week Group coaching, so if you would like to take advantage of that, I would love to help you and support you on your own transformational journey.
Let me know your thoughts, what shift is happening in your life and how can you or what kind of support do you need as you are going through your own personal shift? So I'll see you again in the group, peace.